Mrs SB (Wife to wb) in Her own words
When my husband and I first met and started dating I told him there are certain guidelines that would help us as a couple and would make our relationship run smooth. He said he understood and went along with them. I didn't call them rules as I wanted to ease him into it.
From conversations with him I found out he liked to be praised so I tapped into that. Ladies most men probably like this and will go out of their way for you just to be praised. When my boyfriend, turned husband, and I were first together and he had followed a guideline of mine I'd call him a good boy. I'd say "You're such a good boy for letting me order for you at the restaurant." "You're such a good boy for going to bed at the time I suggested". Of course when we moved in together that became an enforced bedtime with a smooth, no arguing transition because he was already used to it.
Another area I asked my boyfriend turned husband to follow my guidelines on was bathroom use. Ladies I know all of our boys have a nasty habit of leaving the toilet seat up. When we moved in together I told him for cleanliness and for me I'm asking you to sit down every time you need to potty. I said "Can you be a good boy and do that for me?" Of course his answer was yes. I'm using his desire to be praised to get him to follow my guidelines.
Another area I guided him on was taking time to think about his behavior. About how his behavior is not just about him but affects me and our relationship. I first started saying to him I'm going to stand you in the corner to give you a few silent moments to think about your decision or what you did. I told him not to move from the corner until I returned to get him. At that time I told him I expect to first hear an apology. Then I want to hear how you could have been a good boy and made a better decision. In the beginning he spent more time in the corner than he'd like to admit. Some of those corner times ended with him having to write me an apology letter too! Corner time worked so well that I ended up instituting a weekly corner time even when he is behaving. It allows him time to think and clear his mind.
he has written many lines during our marriage. He learned quickly to write them nearly too as I would tear them up in front of him and make him start over if his handwriting wasn't neat. And it's good because it takes time and gets him out of my way sometimes. He normally does his writing punishment in his bedroom.
I suppose what I'm saying Ladies is that for the most part our boys want to be good boys for us and want to make us happy. They just need and require some 'guidelines' from us. These guidelines become the rules of the house. Being the head of our households us Ladies need to make sure our boys are doing their best and in the process we are making them better husbands and making our marriages the best they can be!
From conversations with him I found out he liked to be praised so I tapped into that. Ladies most men probably like this and will go out of their way for you just to be praised. When my boyfriend, turned husband, and I were first together and he had followed a guideline of mine I'd call him a good boy. I'd say "You're such a good boy for letting me order for you at the restaurant." "You're such a good boy for going to bed at the time I suggested". Of course when we moved in together that became an enforced bedtime with a smooth, no arguing transition because he was already used to it.
Another area I asked my boyfriend turned husband to follow my guidelines on was bathroom use. Ladies I know all of our boys have a nasty habit of leaving the toilet seat up. When we moved in together I told him for cleanliness and for me I'm asking you to sit down every time you need to potty. I said "Can you be a good boy and do that for me?" Of course his answer was yes. I'm using his desire to be praised to get him to follow my guidelines.
Another area I guided him on was taking time to think about his behavior. About how his behavior is not just about him but affects me and our relationship. I first started saying to him I'm going to stand you in the corner to give you a few silent moments to think about your decision or what you did. I told him not to move from the corner until I returned to get him. At that time I told him I expect to first hear an apology. Then I want to hear how you could have been a good boy and made a better decision. In the beginning he spent more time in the corner than he'd like to admit. Some of those corner times ended with him having to write me an apology letter too! Corner time worked so well that I ended up instituting a weekly corner time even when he is behaving. It allows him time to think and clear his mind.
he has written many lines during our marriage. He learned quickly to write them nearly too as I would tear them up in front of him and make him start over if his handwriting wasn't neat. And it's good because it takes time and gets him out of my way sometimes. He normally does his writing punishment in his bedroom.
I suppose what I'm saying Ladies is that for the most part our boys want to be good boys for us and want to make us happy. They just need and require some 'guidelines' from us. These guidelines become the rules of the house. Being the head of our households us Ladies need to make sure our boys are doing their best and in the process we are making them better husbands and making our marriages the best they can be!